Feminizer Interview

 

1.For those that have never heard of you before, can you tell us a little bit about the solo project? 

This project is both an outlet to release all the negativity still spiraling around my head and a tool to find some self empowerment. I started working on the full length after coming to terms with who I really am. I was in a pretty grim headspace initially and it began as a manifesto to leave behind but as hRT started to work its magick I started to understand what its like to live without drowning in self loathing so plans changed. I wish it fixed everything but I still struggle with crippling depression and anxiety. If the dystopian hellscape we are left to suffer in doesn’t make you want to die a little bit I think there’s probably something wrong with you.

2.So far you have released one full length and have a split coming out, musically how do they both differ from each other?

The track "Argri Konu" on the split has a higher pissed to sad ratio, but overall both releases are pretty much in the same vein sonically. The next two releases I have in the works I am definitely branching out a bit more.

3.What are some of the lyrical topics and subjects you have explored so far with the music? 

Depression. Attempted suicide. Transphobia. Dysphoria. Abandonment. Self medication and recovery. Survival in a brutally discompassionate fearful and hateful world. I don't print lyrics, maybe I will one day. These things are all so personal. With how tied into my trans identity this project is in name and how little trans representation there is in black metal I fear my words may be read as some kind of “The Trans Experience™” when I'm just trying to play some sad riffs and cope.

4.What is the meaning and inspiration behind the name 'Feminizer'? 

Get cute or die trying.

5.Can you tell us a little bit more about the artwork that is presented on last year's full length cover?

The photo was taken while I was still fully in the closet. I’m still pretty uncomfortable with photos but it took me a while to shake off the bullshit internalized shame that was literally beaten into me as a kid hence the ski mask. I felt like it encapsulated both the fears and beauty that accompanied the start of my transition.  I wanted to have the background be like a Carcass - Symphonies of Sickness collage only with girlie stuff instead of gore. I collaborated with Reece Thomas who took the idea and crushed it.

6.With this project you record everything by yourself, are you open to working with other musicians or do you prefer to work solo? 

I’m open to collaborating with others and there’s currently some talk about it. 

7.You have a split coming out with 'Bury Them And Keep Quiet', what are your thoughts on the other solo project that had participated on the recording?

BTAKQ and her other project Ocean of Ghosts are both fucking phenomenal and I feel so honored to be able to collaborate with her. 

8.On a worldwide level, how has the reaction been to your music by fans of black metal? 

It's been mixed but surprisingly mostly positive as far as I've seen. The RABM circle has been so supportive. Seeing other trans girls psyched on my music keeps me going because being out in the underground is extremely isolating. Neckbeards are going to neckbeard. It will never cease to baffle me how a subgenre forged in Satanism draws in so many bigoted conformists that have more in common with christians than anything else.

9.Do you have any experience playing in other bands or musical projects?

The last DSBM project I did was Death Mantra which followed my depression and spiritual tourism through Buddhism, Shaivism and Vaishnavism. I was searching for answers that I couldn’t find in Luciferianism. It turned out desperately trying to eradicate the self was the opposite of what I needed to do to feel okay. The last live thing I was in was a 2 piece corny af war metal band called Befoulment from 2017-2020. The drummer and I had a falling out so RIP. I created dungeon synth under the name Nocht from 2014-2019.   I’ve released around 40 demos between different bands and solo projects that I feel no reason or excitement to share.

10.Where do you see yourself heading into as a musician during the future?

I want to stop. Music has always felt like an abusive relationship that I give everything into while it gives nothing back. I can’t imagine creating art that's not either directly venting about my discontent or trying to escape from it which requires copious amounts of turmoil in my life to burn as fuel. 

11.What are some of the bands or musical styles that have had an influence on your music and also what are you listening to nowadays?

I’ve always appreciated (nearly) all forms of extreme music but my main loves are black metal and crust punk. Honestly though this last year I've mostly been listening to cheesy goth bands.

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